A Few Well Chosen Words - From the Screws on Entering Prison

Michael Stone, whilst ‘Hostage of the State’ in HMP Full Sutton, 2003

Come in, come into our reception, We will soon change your perception. Thought out in civvy street you were a Mr. Nice? We’ll soon make you as cold as ice. We will use you, we will abuse you. We will confuse you, By then we will amuse you! You will laugh if you see others cry. You will have hysterics when others die. We are gonna change you, Into a mean, mean guy. We can’t have you out there in the gutter. Come in, you’re our bread ‘n butter.

A sign by our door says, ‘we’re impartial’. True! We’ll make anyone into a right rascal! We will assess you. We will test you. We will molest you. By then we will impress you. You’ll see the life of a bully is grand. We’ll get you to join our band.

Exploit the vulnerable, pick on the weak. We’ll prepare you for civvy street. We can’t have you running around free. Come in, you provide our tea. A sign by our door says,’we’re not prejudiced’. True! We’ll make anyone into a recidivist! You ain't seen the likes of us perform. We’ll soon make you conform. We’ll degrade you, hurt you in everyway.

You’ll become more like us everyday! You’ll cheat, steal and lie. That’s it lad, ‘stab him in the eye’. Kick him in the throat’. ‘Put a mars bar down his boat’. You will hate us while we love you. You will love us while we hate you. We’ll make you mentally unstable. Coz you put the food on our table.

Come in, come into our reception. We wanna change you perception. Watch us drive the weak to suicide. See how after, the truth we hide! Lad, do you know what a deaf eye is? How about a blind ear? Go and cut a nonse, Or bash a queer, that’s the way my dear! Throw boiling water over a grass. Or if he’s pretty, gang rape his arse. But don’t get caught calling the chaplain a tart. Instead wait till Sunday church and let out a big fart!

We will cage you. We will outrage you. We will re-arrange you. By then We’ll have deranged you. We can’t have you out there a success. Come in, you’re soon become a mess. Thought out in civvy street you’re a Mr Right? We’ll soon teach you how to fight. First you find the ideal opponent. Someone old, fragile or weak. Make sure he has no help or mates. Then attack him as he sleeps.

For dinner your gonna have goo. For ya tea, some more too. You’ll hate us through and through. We’ll make a monster out of you! Come in, come into our reception. We will soon change your perception. Thought out in civvy street you could go straight? One way or another we’ll get you through our gate! We’ll soon make you into a repeat offender. Smoke some gear lad, go on a bender. If you’re guilty of a crime, we’ll give you a right good time.
Luxuries, rewards, privileges and incentives lad.

See life’s so bad. You just make sure you’ve left plenty of people out there real sad. If you did no wrong that’s okay. We’re still make sure you stay. For someone else’s wrong you’ll pay. In fact we like it better that way! Coz you feel more tormented. We’re make you even more demented.

No telly, no steaks, you’ll do it rough.Time We’re through, you’ll be super tough. Come in, come into our reception. Come and learn the art of deception. Come and learn the tricks of the trade. See how many beasts We’ve made. We will fill you with venom. We will fill you with bitter hate. Oh, we’re proper shape you up ready for the gate.

Give us your body. Give us your heart. Give us your mind. We’ll make you one of our kind. Come in, come into our reception. We’re gonna change your perception. Callous, cold and ruthless you’ll soon be. Your better nature we’ll soon make History!